Once again, the headlines are telling us that one in four children is starting school without being toilet trained. Once again, there are suggestions that parents aren’t doing their job, that children are arriving at school unable to manage basic personal care and that teachers are being left to pick up the pieces.

I’m not suggesting that there isn’t an issue here. I know there is, I spend enough time in early years classrooms every week to know what it’s like. I also understand the challenges that supporting children with toileting can present in busy classrooms, I’ve been there! However, I do think we need to look a little more carefully at what the statistics are telling us, what might be behind them and, perhaps most importantly, how children and families can get the support they clearly need.

Because, as is so often the case in early childhood, the reality is rather more complicated than the headlines would have us believe.

Are one in four children really not toilet trained?

The statistic behind most of the headlines comes from the latest Kindred Squared School Readiness Survey, published in January 2026, which reports that 26% of children starting Reception in September 2025 were not toilet trained, compared with 24% in the previous year.

But let’s look at where that figure comes from.

The research was carried out by Savanta, which surveyed 1,076 primary school staff and 1,004 parents. The staff sample was weighted to reflect the wider primary school workforce, and respondents were asked to estimate the percentage of children in their Reception class, or in a typical Reception class, who were not toilet trained.

Importantly, the survey defined not being toilet trained as experiencing frequent rather than occasional toileting mishaps.

This is an important distinction. The figure is not based on a national count of children arriving at school wearing nappies or pull-ups. It is based on practitioners’ estimates, and it includes a definition which could encompass children who use the toilet but still experience frequent accidents.

Now, a survey of just over 1,000 people isn’t necessarily too small to tell us something useful about a much larger population (last year more than 580,000 children started Reception, so as a sample size it isn’t huge). Good research can draw meaningful conclusions from relatively modest but representative samples. However, the critical questions are who is being asked, what they are being asked and what exactly is being measured.

We have more than half a million children entering Reception in England each year. Can we confidently conclude from these estimates that one in four of those children is not toilet trained? I think we need to be rather more cautious, particularly when the findings are presented without the important qualifications contained in the research itself.

We also need to ask a question that I think is missing from much of the public discussion. How many of these children have identified or emerging additional needs, developmental differences or medical conditions that affect their continence?

The survey acknowledges the wider impact of SEND on school readiness, but the headline toileting percentage does not tell us how many children fall into these different groups. Without that information, we risk grouping together children whose circumstances, needs and developmental pathways are very different indeed.

I work in around 100 schools each year and with thousands of teachers and practitioners through my training and consultancy work. What I see is a very mixed picture. In some Reception classrooms, there are a few children who still wear nappies or pull-ups. Some of these children have complex additional needs and require significant support with their personal care. A number are likely to continue to need continence support throughout their lives.

In other classrooms, there are children who are developing their independence but still need some reminders, encouragement or practical help. And in quite a few classrooms, there are no children wearing nappies at all, although there may be an occasional accident.

My experience is not a nationally representative survey either, and I wouldn’t dream of pretending that it is. I make a point of asking the teachers I work with about patterns in their schools and it does make me question whether the sweeping narrative reflects the variation that exists between schools, communities and individual children. As I’ve already said – it’s complicated.

I really think we need a much clearer picture of what is actually happening before we can begin to understand why.

Having an accident is not the same as not being toilet trained

I also think we need to be careful about what we consider typical development. Four-year-olds are still very young children. Some children are only just four when they start Reception, and they are adjusting to a new environment, new relationships, different routines and unfamiliar toilets.

Children who are confidently using the toilet at home may have accidents when they start school. They may be anxious about asking an unfamiliar adult, unsure where the toilets are, worried about the noise of hand dryers or simply so deeply involved in their play that they don’t respond to the signals from their bodies quickly enough. None of this necessarily means they haven’t been toilet trained. I can remember children having accidents at school well into Year 2 when I was a child in the 1970s. I’m not suggesting this was commonplace, but it certainly isn’t an entirely new phenomenon.

There is some useful developmental research here too. A large longitudinal study of British children by Swithinbank and colleagues (2010) found that 15.5% experienced some daytime wetting at four-and-a-half years of age. Most of this wetting was infrequent, and the proportion reduced as children grew older. This is historical research and cannot tell us the current prevalence, but it does remind us that bladder control develops over time.

ERIC, the children’s bladder and bowel charity, also explains that accidents can occur when children experience significant changes in routine, including starting school. Of course, frequent accidents shouldn’t simply be dismissed as developmental. Constipation, urinary difficulties, anxiety and other health conditions can contribute to wetting and soiling, and children may need appropriate assessment and support.

But surely there is a difference between a child who has not yet begun learning to use the toilet, a child who is developing control, a child with an underlying continence condition and a child who occasionally gets caught out because they are four. If we’re going to talk about the scale of the problem, we need to understand those differences.

Do we need to seek to blame, or to support?

One of the things that troubles me most about the current narrative is how quickly the conversation turns to blame. Let me be clear. Of course parents and carers have a responsibility to support their children with toileting, just as they do with feeding, dressing, communication and all the other aspects of growing independence. I’m not naive. I know that some haven’t started toilet training when they could have done, some have been inconsistent and some don’t fully understand the importance of beginning the process early enough. But I also think we need to reflect on the lives that many families are living.

When my own children were small, as a working parent I saved toilet training for the school holidays. I knew I would need to be consistent, to watch for the signs, to offer plenty of encouragement and to cope with the inevitable accidents. Being at home gave me the time and flexibility to do that. But what about parents who don’t have that option?

Many families have two parents working full time, often for long hours, sometimes in more than one job each. Others have a single parent juggling employment, childcare and everything else that comes with raising young children. Some parents work shifts, evenings and weekends, sometimes deliberately arranging their working patterns around one another so that they can afford childcare. As the cost-of-living crisis has grown, more and more people are working more than one job or overtime simply to make ends meet. Where is the time and headspace for sustained, consistent toilet training when families are exhausted, financially stretched and trying to keep everything going?

And what about the wider family support that so many once relied upon?

Grandparents may live hundreds of miles away. They may still be working themselves, particularly as retirement ages rise and living costs increase. Families may have moved away from their communities for employment or housing, leaving them without the informal networks that previous generations could call upon. This isn’t an excuse for not supporting children. It is an acknowledgement that the circumstances in which parents are raising children have changed over the generations.

Interestingly, Kindred Squared’s own research recognises this. Almost half of the parents surveyed identified longer working hours, linked to the cost of living, as a factor affecting school readiness. So why does so much of the public conversation focus on what parents are failing to do rather than on what might help them to do it?

We have also taken away much of the support that families once had

When I was raising my children, I had regular access to health visitors, Sure Start services and opportunities to talk to professionals and other parents about child development. These services weren’t perfect, but they provided a network of advice, reassurance and practical support. Over many years, we have seen significant reductions in funding for services supporting young children and families. Sure Start centres have closed, services have been reduced or reorganised, and health visiting teams have faced considerable pressures.

Research from the Institute for Fiscal Studies, published in 2025, demonstrates both the benefits of Sure Start and the extent of the reductions in funding and provision that followed its expansion. More recent work from the Institute of Health Visiting describes continuing workforce pressures and variation in the support families receive.

Family Hubs and other initiatives are beginning to rebuild some of this support, but access remains uneven at present.  I wonder how many parents now find themselves relying on social media, friends or online parenting groups for advice about toilet training because they simply don’t have a trusted professional to turn to. How many are being told to wait until their child is ready by a well- meaning adult,  without anyone explaining what readiness might look like, how to develop the necessary skills or why waiting too long can sometimes make the process more difficult? How many are trying their best but lack the confidence to persevere when things become challenging?

We can’t spend years reducing the services that support parenting and then express surprise when some families struggle with aspects of parenting.

Have better nappies made toilet training more difficult?

There is another factor that I think deserves more attention. Modern disposable nappies and pull-ups are extraordinarily effective at keeping children feeling dry. This is great for comfort, but it may also mean that children are less aware of what is happening when they wee.

ERIC discusses this in its guidance on potty training, explaining that absorbent products can make it harder for children to recognise the sensation of being wet. This matters because developing an awareness of the body’s signals is an important part of learning to use the toilet.

I also wonder whether we have become so concerned about children having accidents that we sometimes misunderstand their significance. I’ve worked with parents who have started toilet training, experienced a couple of accidents and concluded that their child simply isn’t ready. Back comes the nappy or pull-up, and the process stops until the next attempt.

But accidents are part of learning. We don’t expect children to learn to walk without falling over, or to feed themselves without making a mess. We recognise that these things take time, practice, repetition and encouragement. Why would toilet training be any different?

Of course, we shouldn’t ignore persistent difficulties or push children through significant distress. Sometimes there are medical, sensory or emotional issues that need addressing. But a few wet pairs of trousers do not automatically mean that a child is incapable of learning.

There is evidence to suggest that starting toilet learning earlier can be beneficial. Research by Joinson and colleagues (2009), involving more than 8,000 children from the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children, found an association between starting toilet training after 24 months and difficulties achieving or maintaining daytime bladder control.

Association isn’t proof of causation, and there is no single method that will work for every child. Nevertheless, the research supports the importance of helping children develop these skills gradually rather than assuming that everything should wait until they reach a particular age.

What many parents and carers need is clear, consistent, evidence-informed guidance, alongside reassurance that learning something new is rarely a completely straightforward process.

Toilet learning is part of the early years curriculum

This brings me to something that I think we need to talk about much more. Toileting isn’t simply something that happens at home before children arrive at school. It is part of children’s personal, social and emotional development, and it needs to be recognised as part of the early years curriculum. Children in England can begin Reception when they are only four. Many are also spending considerable amounts of their early childhood in nurseries, preschools and other early education settings. Children are often in early years settings for long periods of time from babyhood. Surely, then, we have an important role in supporting the development of these skills alongside parents.

This starts way before Reception. Think about what happens when we change a baby’s nappy. We can treat it as a routine task that needs completing as quickly as possible, or we can recognise it as an opportunity for sensitive, responsive interaction. We can talk to babies about what is happening, respond to their communication, give them time to participate and help them begin to develop an awareness of their bodies. We can build trust, connection and understanding through these everyday experiences. This is relational pedagogy in action. Personal care isn’t separate from the curriculum. It is part of how very young children learn about themselves, their bodies, their relationships and the world around them.

As children move into toddlerhood, we can build on these foundations. We can make potties and toilets familiar, introduce the language associated with toileting, notice children’s signals, encourage their growing independence and provide opportunities for them to participate in dressing, undressing and washing their hands.

We can work closely with parents and carers to agree a consistent approach, using social stories and shared vocabulary,  recognising that children may respond differently in different environments.

In our two- and three-year-old provision, toileting needs to be an intentional part of the curriculum. That doesn’t mean making every child sit on a potty at prescribed times regardless of their needs. It means understanding how the skills develop and providing sensitive, individualised opportunities to practise them.

It also means recognising when a child might need more specialist support. Children with SEND may need adaptations to the environment, additional communication support, more time or a carefully planned approach. We should never assume that a child cannot develop continence simply because they have additional needs.

The Department for Education’s guidance for early years providers explicitly recognises the role practitioners play in toilet training and the importance of partnership with families. And the EYFS is very clear about the importance of supporting children to develop independence in managing their personal needs. We wouldn’t leave the development of communication, movement or social interaction entirely to chance. Why would we do that with toileting?

So what might a more helpful approach look like?

Firstly, I think we need better information about the scale and nature of the issue. Rather than continuing to repeat a single headline statistic, let’s understand how many children are arriving in Reception still wearing nappies, how many are experiencing frequent accidents and how many have additional or medical needs that affect their continence.

We need to understand the differences between communities and settings, and identify where support is most needed.

Secondly, we need to restore and strengthen the support available to families.

Parents and carers need access to trusted professionals who can explain how continence develops, help them to recognise when and how to begin, and offer practical advice when things don’t go according to plan. That includes understanding constipation and other bladder and bowel conditions, which can make successful toilet learning much more difficult. We need to make this advice accessible, culturally sensitive and available in different languages and formats, without assuming that every parent has the same time, resources or support networks.

Thirdly, early years settings need to place this at the heart of their curriculum. I’d like to see much greater emphasis on personal care and toileting as part of the curriculum from the baby room onwards. Not as another assessment checklist or an additional burden on practitioners, but as a normal and important aspect of caring for and educating young children.

Schools, too, need effective arrangements for children who still require help. That includes accessible toilets, appropriate changing facilities, sufficient staffing, individual care plans where needed and a commitment to protecting children’s dignity. In a time of ever decreasing budgets, this is extremely difficult. We need to recognise the pressure this can place on staff. Helping several children with intimate care in a busy Reception classroom takes time and can be physically and emotionally demanding. It is not reasonable to acknowledge the changing needs of children without also considering the resources schools need to meet them. I am aware of the financial constraints schools and settings face. If the government really is concerned about children’s toileting, they need to invest heavily in the early years.

The ERIC guidance for schools and settings provides useful information about supporting children with continence difficulties, including their rights to education and appropriate care.

A final thought

I don’t want anyone to read this and think that I’m suggesting that toilet training doesn’t matter, that parents and carers don’t have responsibilities or that schools should simply accept growing numbers of children needing toileting support without question. Quite the opposite.

I think toileting matters enormously. It matters for children’s health, wellbeing, dignity, independence and sense of self. It matters for families, and it matters for practitioners who are trying to meet the needs of every child in their care. But I also think that we need to stop reducing complex developmental and societal issues to simplistic headlines.

Children are not at fault here, and they learn through sensitive support, opportunities to practise, consistency, encouragement and, sometimes, specialist help. Parents and carers are far more likely to succeed when they have access to good information, sufficient time and people who will help them work through difficulties and practitioners are far better placed to support children when they understand continence development, work closely with families and have the resources to provide appropriate care.

So yes, let’s talk about toilet training. Let’s ask difficult questions about why some children are starting school without these skills, and let’s be ambitious about helping more children develop independence earlier. But let’s also be curious about the reasons, thoughtful about the evidence and compassionate towards children at the centre of the discussion.

Further reading and useful resources

• ERIC: Potty training – Practical, evidence-informed guidance for parents and practitioners.
• ERIC: Toilets and school readiness – Supporting children with continence difficulties as they begin school.
• ERIC: Managing bladder and bowel issues in education settings – Guidance on continence, additional needs, care plans and school responsibilities.
• Department for Education: Toilet training – Guidance for early years practitioners, updated in August 2026.
• Joinson et al. (2009) – A prospective study of toilet-training age and later daytime bladder control.
• Swithinbank et al. (2010) – The natural history of daytime urinary incontinence in a large British cohort.
• Mrad et al. (2021) – A systematic review of toilet-training approaches.
• Institute for Fiscal Studies (2025): The effects of Sure Start on children’s outcomes – Evidence of the value of integrated family support.

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